What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
