Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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