In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
