My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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