I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
