I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
