woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
