It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
