come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
