Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Vodka?
Forever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
