Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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