Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
