I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
