i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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