they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
