you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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