I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
