yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
