Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
