My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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