she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
