We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
