just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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