just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
