He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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