why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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