the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
