i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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