How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
