My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
