I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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