Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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