Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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