Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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