I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
