Your tits are I can't wait for
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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