I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
