First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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