Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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