so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
