look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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