she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
