i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm getting married
To pizza
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
