I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
