Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
