WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
