the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
