Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
