Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
