Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
