a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
